What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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