Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
