ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
