Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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