Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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