one might say we're banned from that church
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize
