I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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