Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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