Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
so let's talk penis.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
