goodnight i made you a song goodbye
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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