420 ftw
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
