I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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