your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
