return my video game
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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