I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
