Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
