yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
