it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
