there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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