Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize