Porn is love you can see.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
