She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
