the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
