When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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