Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
