Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
