I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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