So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
