Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Where is the hickey?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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