My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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