I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
