U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
