how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
