You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
