I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
You dont lie about slip and slides
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Randomize
