don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize