Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
