I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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