I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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