And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
