My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize