apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
