it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
