Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
