I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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