it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
