I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
