It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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