im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
