i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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