Ambien. No doubt about it.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
