I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
