Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
My dick has a subreddit
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
