Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
