better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize