i think my tv is drunk
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
