am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
