I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
