Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize