it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
