I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize