So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
