I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
